Tagged With: Funny

From the Aviary

Hummingbird: I shall sip nectar from this flower in a silent, graceful ballet. Woodpecker: IMMA STAB THE BUGS OUTTA THIS TREE WITH MY FACE-KNIFE!!!

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Dust Bunnies

We always were a fan of short films.  To that end: We would note for the record that we have no dust bunnies.  Rumors that this is the work of a pack of especially vicious and well-fed dust coyotes are entirely without merit.

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Dinnertime!

“A sandwich is just a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal!” –Jeffrey Dahmer

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Manhattan

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Instapot FAQ

Congratulations on the purchase of your new cursed Instant Pot multi-use programmable Pressure Cooker. Instant Pot is the #1 selling 7-in-1 multi-cooker that reduces cooking times up to 70% by summoning the horrible black magical powers of Baphomet, the Sabbatic Goat God. Your cursed Instant Pot will change the way you cook kitchen staples like … Continue reading »

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Iago

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Lunacy

Cuius est solum, eius est usque ad coelum et ad inferos, goes the axiom.  Property rights extend not just to the surface, but infinitely out to space.  This set us to thinking about a Robert Heinlein novella, The Man Who Sold the Moon.  If we could somehow arrange to be directly under the Moon, we’d have … Continue reading »

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Dime(bag) For Your Thoughts?

Context: discussing Washington and Colorado’s recent legalization of marijuana. Prof. B.: In Colorado they sold a million dollars’ worth on the first day. Student: Think of the tax revenues of that.  They’re going to have some great highways. Smartarse Student: …no pun intended.

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…You Might Be A Redneck

If you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin’ dog…. From the public record, we found one even better.  If you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a cowboy hat (see page 3), you might be a redneck. (Note: this document is in the public record, and all of the public filings of the … Continue reading »

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“Y’all Didn’t Think That One Through, Did You?” Lunar Edition

The Hill is reporting that two Representatives (Donna Edwards, D-MD, and Eddie Bernice Johnson, D-TX) are proposing the establishment of a National Park on the moon. Yes, the moon. Clearly, they’re unfamiliar with the Outer Space Treaty, which forbids a government from claiming any land upon the moon (undoubtedly, this is why they’re Representatives, not … Continue reading »

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