We here at The Hatrack were blessed with plumbing issues on Wednesday night: the water heater, unsatisfied with its faith to this point, converted to Buddhism and, to protest the plight of its enslaved brethren, immediately launched into a protest made famous by Buddhist monks in Vietnam: self-immolation.

We were fortunate to not only be home at the time, but to be working in the utility closet, so we were able to arrest the transition to Incendiary Mode before it was complete. Nonetheless, the suicide attempt was successful, and we are without hot water.

Our Realtor wisely suggested we purchase a home warranty, at least for the first year, to cover anything that may break. We did, and Thursday morning, we called to file a claim.

Home Warranty of America arranged a plumber to come inspect the damage and, on the strength of his report, approved the claim. Imagine our surprise, therefore, when an hour later, an HWA agent called to advise us that, after further review, the claim was being denied--the damage was "secondary damage" following the separate failure of another component. We asked for a manager and were sent to voicemail.

A callback sometime later also resulted in being told that a manager was not available. We invoked the Magic Words, however, and within perhaps twenty minutes, a manager called to advise us that the repair would, in fact be covered, and they would call the plumber to authorize the repair.

So, dear readers, in the event that you ever need to deal with Home Warranty of America in the future, be advised that the Magic Words are "insurance commissioner."