Customer: "Damnit, I'm not going to troubleshoot! If you don't send a technician out here to troubleshoot for me, I'm going to sue!"

From the service contract:

Customer Responsibilities
Cooperate with Phone Analyst and On-site Technician. Customer agrees to cooperate with and follow the instructions given by [company] phone analyst and its on-site technicians.

(emphasis in original)

In other words: "read, Forrest! Read!"