Monthly Archives: February 2012

Freudian Slip

“I have to vote for Obama.  I have no brain.” –Prof. Cantrell

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Compensating

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/spaced_out_qGxi9pqY9Lu9xqzIZMd18H Transportation officials want to knock down a Chinatown newsstand that’s been in the same spot for 35 years — after suddenly discovering that it’s a precious 3 inches too close to the building it faces. “They came and measured, and the [Department of Transportation] said the newsstand is 3 inches too short for a … Continue reading »

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Allergies

ver·i·fy verb (used with object), -fied, -fy·ing. … 2. to ascertain the truth or correctness of, as by examination, research, or comparison The policy says “verify warranty status, then send parts.” The other policy says “warranty ended about four years ago.”  Ergo, I didn’t send parts.  Customer gets all butthurt.  Manglement asks “why didn’t you … Continue reading »

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Nuclear Detonation Timeline 1945-1998

  All those detonations in the American Southwest, and we still haven’t managed to get rid of Los Angeles!

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Dear California:

Dear California: now you know how we feel! Love, Oklahoma

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From The We’ll-School-You-Good Files

http://www.koco.com/r/30302312/detail.html MUSTANG, Okla. — A teacher’s nap in class ended up becoming a rude awakening for a student. Mustang Public Schools officials said a ninth-grader snapped a photo of a snoozing substitute with a cellphone last Friday at Mustang Mid-High School. The student was later suspended. Listen up, students: we won’t have you holding us … Continue reading »

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