There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie --
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.
When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find -- it's your own affair --
But . . . you've given your heart to a dog to tear.
When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!)
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone -- wherever it goes -- for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.
We've sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we've kept'em, the more do we grieve;
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-time loan is as bad as a long --
So why in -- Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?
Sixteen years, actually. He had a hell of a run.
Tags: Dogs, Kipling
…to all of the mothers, grandmothers, and would-be mothers.
Sitting in the last session of our Commercial Paper class today, there came a rapping at the chamber door. Prof. H. opened the door to find a pizza delivery man bearing goods. Surprised, and a bit amused, Prof. H. asks the class who ordered it. Much excited whispering and laughing, but nobody admits to it. Seeking an alternative, Prof. H. (who has a fairly uncommon first name) asks whose name is on the order. The pizza man replies…with Prof. H’s name.
The class burst into laughter. Somebody ordered a pizza, delivered to the classroom, during class, and put it in the professor’s name.
We wish we knew who did it; we’d like to shake his hand for that one. Well played, sir!
Tags: Funny, Pranks, School
This is actually a recursively epic fail, as we would note for the record that not only are OU fans relatively unlikely to be buyers of Michigan apparel, but that we, personally, are from Ohio.
Ah, well, at least it’s not Texas.
Prof. M: “…the technical term is they get screwed on the backend. That’s on, not in, Mr. <smartarse student>.”
<class erupts in laughter>
Prof. M: “What happens when shareholder value is locked up in an incestuous relationship between incompetent management and an incompetent board?”
Smartarse student: “Dell.”
Tags: Funny, Law, Work
Cheff v. Mathes, 199 A.2d 548 (Del. 1964) teaches us that using the corporate treasury to ward off an incipient hostile takeover (i.e. “greenmail”) is permissible if done to defend the company; however, if done with the purpose of securing the positions of the directors, it’s an impermissible conflict of interest. Certainly, the latter is correct; however, the former, while legally permissible, seems potentially foolish to those of us who have read our Kipling.
It is always a temptation to an armed and agile nation
To call upon a neighbour and to say: --
"We invaded you last night--we are quite prepared to fight,
Unless you pay us cash to go away."
And that is called asking for Dane-geld,
And the people who ask it explain
That you've only to pay 'em the Dane-geld
And then you'll get rid of the Dane!
It is always a temptation for a rich and lazy nation,
To puff and look important and to say: --
"Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you.
We will therefore pay you cash to go away."
And that is called paying the Dane-geld;
But we've proved it again and again,
That if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
You never get rid of the Dane.
It is wrong to put temptation in the path of any nation,
For fear they should succumb and go astray;
So when you are requested to pay up or be molested,
You will find it better policy to say: --
"We never pay any-one Dane-geld,
No matter how trifling the cost;
For the end of that game is oppression and shame,
And the nation that pays it is lost!"
Tags: Kipling, Law
$ man suedo
Obtain privileges by using a court
Unfortunately by telling you how to invoke this command we would open ourselves as target. Please contact your lawyer for more information.
“Synergies: firing people!”
Tags: Funny, School
We spent Easter with good friends. Much fun was had by all. There was time to play on the trampoline:
And lemonade to drink when it got too hot:
Several dogs were in attendance:
…which is not the same as a dogpile:
Finally, it was time for the hunt:
A mighty haul indeed!
Everybody went home happy, well-fed, and thoroughly tired. All-in-all, a very fine day indeed!
Tags: Joey, Pictures